End Badly

She loved him and he loved to get laid
And so the future looked as bright as a freshly dug grave
She was too dumb to quit, he was too proud to change
And so it seemed that it all would end badly
Yes it seemed that it all would end badly

Well she broke through the ice and he jumped in to save her
He thought he’d been nice, thought he’d done her a favor
Then she tightened her grip, but hell who could blame her
As he shot from the hip spitting blanks from the chamber

He pulled off his stunt and scored a sweet little cunning young flower
He proved he was no runt so she showed him her consenting power

She'd lured him in with some brand new behavior
She moved in for the kill with the goods that god gave her
And then she planned out his life until twenty years later
And now he’s stuck with just one of the 31 flavors

He thought he was slick, he thought with his disgusting interests
She snatched him up quick and she cut off his distrusting business

His legs and her eggs lose more strength every day
As her clock’s biologically ticking away
He’s too weak to run, but he can’t stand to stay
They should have known that it all would end badly

Now she’s scared like a tapeworm whose host can’t find food
He’s like a dissected frog whose gut’s just been removed
Like a library book gone months overdue
The librarian says it’s too late to renew
Yeah they’re up the creek, without a canoe
Yeah they’re stuck in a hole just like Winnie the Pooh.
I’ve said nothing old and I’ve said nothing new
If you don’t learn from me, it could happen to you
Don’t mess with me yo, cause I know kung fu,
And I got more rhymes than that old Mother Goose,
Don’t go home yet, cause I’m not quite through
How many more rhymes do you think I can do
Roses are red and violets are—
You should have known that it all would end badly
We all knew that it all would end badly
Still we hope that it all won’t end badly.